The Giving Tree

I haven't posted in a while, for a variety of reasons.  Primarily, I've been really busy with work, with travel, with friends in town, with friends out of town... just really busy.  I've been in my hometown for a week just catching up with friends and working on Hemeras' bridal shower and Bach party.   Its been such a weird week that I dont even know where to start...

1.  My little flirty chats with Fedora has somehow became a major point of drama.  I know he is drama, I know his life is drama, I know he sleeps with a variety of effing drama... but thats HIS problem.  Why is this my problem?  Why can't I just talk to this crazy ass guy that thinks I'm hot?  Fedora makes me smile.. a lot.  Not smile in a "I want to marry you and love you forever, Fedora!" type of way but definitely in a "Holy shit this is some fun chemistry... tell me again how cute you think i am" kinda of way.   But, there are people around me that I love so much, and for some reason I feel I need their permission.  I want to shoot myself in the face (not really)

2.  I'm staying with Hera (Hemera's sister) and last night I was laying in bed with her son, reading him a book.. ."The Giving Tree"  We all know the book, the tree continues to give away parts of herselft to the boy, her leaves, her branches, her trunk, until she is a small stump... just to make the boy happy.  And at the end of his life, when he's treated the tree like crap, he has the nerve to sit on her.  Fuck you, boy.

I'm reading this book and I feel like the Giving Tree.  I just feel like I'm constantly shedding my branches for others..and I do it because I truly enjoy it, but it can be really overwhelming at times, too.  I'm so stressed out with work, and travel, etc. and I feel guilty right now that I'm not being the best friend, sister, daughter, etc. because I'm neglecting those around me... but I'm busy.  They're busy, why should I feel guilty because I'm busy?  Why should I feel guilty because I'm being selfish right now?