I'm BACK!

Good LORD its been a helluva month. Absolutely crazy at every turn. Every minute of every day was PACKED in MAY with bridal showers, bachelorette parties, corporate meetings, weddings... OH... WEDDINGS...

First of all, let me start by saying that the wedding of my dear, sweet HEMERA was absolutely beautiful. For someone as strikingly beautiful (on the inside and out) as HEMERA is, I didn’t think it was possible for her to be even more beautiful… but she was. Absolute show stopper. It was perfect... and let’s be honest people, she deserved it. HEMERA is one of the most loving, giving, down to earth, humble people you will ever meet and she deserved this wonderful night.

Of course, I probably over-committed myself and ran myself ragged between all of the personal commitments (7 hours away) and massive business commitments, but I made it through and I’m not looking back.

For HEMERA’s bachelorette party, we threw a “Booty Parlor” party… aka sex toy party. Our Bootician drove 3 hours for the party, and as the evening wrapped up, I realized that she didn’t have a whole lot of orders and didn’t make a lot of money… So what did I do? Spend more money on sex toys than my rent (not really, but it was a lot). So today, I got my order from FedEx and after they dropped the PALLET of sex toys off at my house, I realized I may have overdone it a bit. I couldn’t stop laughing… What the hell am I going to do with all these damn things (other than the obvious)? Seriously, I don’t even have the energy to open the boxes...

On a completely UNRELATED note, I made up with HERMES! Woot! He called last week (or the week before? I don’t remember) and apologized (like really apologized, not a crappy "I'm a dude and dont know how to say I'm sorry" apology) and I cried and cried and cried… Poor dude grew up with all brothers and probably isn’t used to chicks crying all the time, but I’m a crier, its what I do and he deserved it. I missed him. Lots. I’m not sure our friendship will ever be the same, but I’m glad to have the Herm hole filled for now… even if just partially.

Overall, by the time June 1 rolled around, my effing Giving Tree was so worn down, I felt like the stupid "boy"  not only sat on my stump, but paid a team of dendrologists to grind out the roots.  If I had any limbs left, I would have bitch-slapped the "boy"... Yes, the "boy" is a metaphor for my life... but now the month is over and I'm regenerating.  Sounds so hokey but true.